Dear New Sewing Machine,

I am new to sewing but I have high hopes that you and I will have a long and happy future together. I am not overly picky or demanding but I think it would be best if I clarified my expectations up front.

You and I don’t need to take long walks on the beach. You don’t need to buy me flowers. I’ll take good care of you, make sure you’re fed appropriately, and will keep little fingers from breaking off your needles or jamming their toys in your…accessories.

In exchange, I need you to understand the following:

Beginners have some learning to do. I might make a mistake every now and then. I won’t do it intentionally and would prefer that you not hold it against me.

Really, all I need you to do is sew straight when I tell you to, stop when I want, and keep my stitches even. It’s not an overly complicated job. Don’t make mountains out of molehills.

Beginners aren’t stupid. We know how to read and figure things out but we’re not all engineers. Please bring a well documented manual with you to help me learn more quickly.

I am not opposed to sending you right back where you came from. (Just ask my last dishwasher.) When you’re in my house, you’ll follow my rules. My life is complicated enough. If you can make my life easier, we’ll get along just fine.

You and I could make fabulous music together. Together. You and I. We’re a team. Don’t fight with me or frustrate me with jammed threads and cheap bobbins. And don’t even think about eating my fabric. The first time you do, we’re done.

I’m a pretty good listener. If you’re having a problem with something I’m trying to do, could you just tell me? Give me some kind of signal? I promise I’ll do better if you just tell me what’s wrong.

I know how to write a negative review and I’m not afraid to do so. I know people, too – other beginners who will listen to my recommendations about sewing machines. It’s in your best interest to be on your best behavior.

That’s all. It’s a short, but important, list. I’ve said my piece up front. Now, let’s go create something marvelous! Time’s a wasting!

Sincerely,

Happy Beginner